Lost Memories
by Youjumpijump remember
Summary: yes another rose and jack story who could get tired of them :)?R&R The story starts off in the water on the driftwood. Rose is pulled from the wreckage but when she gets onto the Carpathia she doesnt remember anything about Titanic! Will she remember? What happened to Jack? xoxoxo
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"I promise." I shivered those harsh words out of my mouth.

I knew he would die in those cold waters; just freeze in front of my own eyes, but what could I do about it. I was Rose DeWitt Bukater, a fragile well brought up young woman. But here, this night, it didn't matter who I was. Thousands of people rich and poor, all the same were ripped from their beds and plunged into the freezing ocean under the _R.M.S Titanic_. As I lay here on this piece of driftwood I am forced to watch my love freeze to death in the same icy waters I threatened to jump into the night we met. Oh how foolish I was to think that it would end up like a fairy tale. What else could I do, but watch and wait?

I spot a boat coming for us! "Jack" I yell… no response. _Was it too late? Did he die without me even knowing? As soon as the boat arrives I am pulled from the wreckage, wrapped in a warm blanket, and comforted. As soon as I touch the bottom of the lifeboat I become faint and pass out. I don't remember what happened after that and I don't remember what happened to jack….._

The next thing I remember is waking up in an infirmary on the carpathia. I didn't know what to expect to see, but as I tried to get up I fell back down realizing I was still too weak. A young man, whom I expected to be a nurse came up to me and asked how I was feeling. I replied curiously, "why am I here? What happened?"

I had a huge headache and was nauseated, but he explained to me that I was on the R.M.S titanic which sank last night. They had found me lying on a piece of driftwood, and as they pulled me in I hit my head on the side of the lifeboat.

"Do you remember any of that?" he asked.

I didn't. I couldn't remember anything that happened recently. I recall memories of my father dying, and my mom forcing me to marry call but that was it. The nurse, whose name I found out to be named Jeff said that my memory should return clearly in about a week, but right now we had to rest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

It has been two days since I arrived on the Carpathia, and I am still in the infirmary. Jeff has been very kind and I appreciate his waiting on me hand and foot, but I would appreciate a little space. I need time to recollect my memories. There is a man next to me bundled up so tight that I can't see his face. And he keeps yelling promise me you'll never let go. I hope whoever he is talking about is okay. I say a silent prayer for him as Jeff brings in my lunch, consisting of tomato soup and a slice of rye bread.

"Do you know anything about the man in the bed next to me?" I questioned Jeff.

"To be honest, all we know about him is that he is a loud sleep talker!" he chuckled jokingly.

I laughed in reply, but I didn't find it funny at all. As the next few days passed my memory about the accident became clearer. I knew that I boarded the ship and I remember every single detail of my room, but most importantly I remember how much I was suffering during the fancy dinners and having to smell Cal's repulsive cologne. I despised Cal even without all of my memories I knew I despised him. Lord, I hope he went down with the ship! As Jeff walked back into the infirmary I asked about Cal and my mother he said they had survived and had gotten a deal to room in one of the vacant first class suites. I pleaded to Jeff that he couldn't utter a word of this to either of them. He said he wouldn't and I breathed a sigh of relief.

At midnight I awoke with a shudder, and realized it was just the unknown man yelling again, but this time it was different. He was calling my name. Surely he had just over heard Jeff say my name, but they way he said it was almost chilling. I started having a flash back, I was on the titanic hanging off the the edge of the bow when a young strapping man told me not to let go. As he was helping me down he introduced himself, but when he said it all that came out was the sound of people drowning. I wasn't able to sleep after that all I could do was try to think of his name. Peter Lawson? NO! John Watson? Definitely not! Jaaa…ckkk Daaaaaawson? Yes Jack Dawson, but why was his name so important? Why did it tug at my heart so?

.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

I was still quite shaken up about the man calling my name, but I decided I needed to get to the bottom of things. Jeff had come in earlier to tell me I was allowed to leave my bed for the first time in days. My restored memory only left one thing foggy. Who was jack Dawson? I had asked Jeff if there was a passenger on board by the name of Jack Dawson. He shook his head carefully because he could see that name meant something to me.

"Was he your lover?" Jeff questioned.

"To be honest I don't know who he is, but I know he's important!" I replied

Jeff asked me to go talk to some of the other survivors to ask if they knew a Jack Dawson, so I got out of bed(wobbly at first), and put on Cal's jacket; the only thing I had left. I could still feel the chills from that night….. Oh what a horror I thought to myself. I decided that I should ask the man bundled up, because if he knew my name he might be able to give me Jack's information. As I walked over I heard a nurse yell to me that don't bother talking to him he won't talk to anyone. But I had heard him speak, so I ignored her and kept walking towards him.

"Excuse me sir!" I said as I walked over to sit on the edge of his bed."My name is Rose Dewitt Bukater, and I was wondering if you knew a man by the name of Jack Dawson?"

He didn't reply, but he touched my face. I moved his messy blonde hair out of his eyes. They were the most beautiful blue I had ever seen. His face was handsome, yet so familiar. Where had I seen this man before? Just as I was admiring his features he reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out the Heart of the Ocean, then gently placed it in my hand. But he kept hold of my hand and whispered barely enough for me to hear, but it was something I would never forget.

"Rose Dewitt Bukater, I'll have to get you to write that one down" he chuckled.

At that moment everything about Jack Dawson became clear. Every moment I spent with him aboard the titanic. And the fact that I just realized I am sitting next to him right now this very moment.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

I have never felt more secure in a person's arms than I did in Jack's. His muscular body kept me safe and warm, but he was gentle. I never felt scared or dominated, just perfect. I loved him I truly did. The Carpathia would be docking in New York this afternoon, but I didn't want to get off. I knew once I left this boat and left with Jack Dawson I would be saying goodbye to my fancy gowns, delicious meals, and crisp freshly washed satin sheets that I could crawl into every night. I asked myself over and over again, "Was jack, a poor artist better than being set for life with Cal Hockley?" I quickly shook away any doubts I had and I looked up to see Jack finally waking up.

"Good morning!" he said pleasantly.

"Hello," I said as I drifted off a bit. "Jack, would you really have jumped after me that night on the Titanic?"

"It's hard to explain, but yeah I think I would. Something came over me that night, a force that I cannot explain overtook my common sense, and I felt it deep inside that I really loved you." Jack replied.

"Jack what if Cal and mother find me and take me away from you?"

"I will never let them lay a finger on you, but we need to figure out how to get off the ship secretly."

"Jeff will be able to help us with that, but what are we going to do after we dock? How will we survive?" I questioned.

"Rose you have to take life as it comes at you. The darkest hour always comes before the light." Jack preached.

I called Jeff over and as he was bringing our lunch plates to us, which were filled with a meaty smelling beef stew and buttery biscuits I asked how we could get off the ship without mother noticing. He replied that since they were rooming in first class they would probably exit first too. Jeff implied that we should wait until most of the passengers have exited the ship, and that when we do we should try to cover our faces so no one would recognize us. About an hour later I saw her, jack saw her, everyone saw her in all her glory there stood the statue of liberty. The rain trickling down her face looked like she was mourning the victims of the Titanic tragedy. I stood looking over the deck watching those expressionless dazed victims walk off the ship without their belongings, and most without the people they traveled with. I had known some of them from the dinner parties and gatherings I went to. There was Lindsey Kemp who had gotten engaged to her now dead fiancé the first night aboard. I also saw newspaper journalists bombarding the survivors with questions, but what they would never understand was how horrifying the ordeal was. It was a nightmare we would never wake up from. Jack grabbed my hand and said five of the most comforting words I would ever hear. "Do you trust me Rose?"

"I trust you!" I replied.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

As soon as I walked of the Carpathia, which once held the orphaned children, shattered families, and weeping widows, I ran. I let go of Jack's hand and ran. Without a destination, without a thought. I had to go somewhere, everywhere, anywhere but there. I kept running for what felt like miles. Suddenly I felt a strong arm pulling me back into a dark alley, but I didn't resist. As I turned around I saw those fiery evil, yet oh so familiar eyes looking through me like I was a ghost. His eyes were penetrating through me with ease. How did he find me? Why did he find me?

"What do you want Cal?" Trying to sound confident, but I couldn't help but stutter.

"I want the diamond. Don't even try to act like you don't have it. You silly girl thought you got rid of me huh? Well you were wrong, so very wrong." Cal snarled.

"What do you want with us Cal don't you have someone else you can be spying on? Leave us alone, please." I pleaded.

"You know what Rose I will offer you a deal. You keep the diamond and marry me, or I can have that worthless man arrested for putting his fingers on my fiancé. What do you choose?" He smirked.

I weighed the options in my head. I couldn't let Jack get arrested, but I would rather die than marry Cal. Just as I made up my mind Jack rushed in and grabbed my hand. I pulled it away quickly as I saw Cal watching me, infuriated and ready to call the police. I felt like I was about to pass out, but I straightened up my back, cleared my throat, and looked to Jack with emotionless, stone cold eyes.

"Jack I have decided that we mustn't continue this cross class love affair. You wouldn't be able to support a rich girl like me. I am to marry Cal and that's that, it is for the best." I whimpered.

At first he looked confused, then turning into anger he spat, "Rose, you know that fire, that fire that I loved about you it's about to be extinguished. If you make this decision you will be trapped with no escape."

We said nothing else, I couldn't look at him or he would have seen the tears spilling out of my eyes. He never looked back, never said another word. I turned to Cal and he looked pleased. At least I saved Jack, he can enjoy the freedom that I wish to be living, but instead I will be married to the most wretched, cold-hearted man alive….. Those last words I said to Jack played in my mind the whole ride to Cal's Jailhouse… I mean "mansion." How could I be so rude to someone I loved so much.

As soon as we arrived my mother scolded me for running of and to sum it up, gave me the mother knows best speech. She made me promise to never run off again, and as soon as that was finished she started talking about the wedding. Over the next weeks I sat next to my mother jabbering on about wedding invitations, bridesmaid's dresses, and the catering. All the while I was aimlessly staring into space drowning in my own sadness. I couldn't care less if the dresses were periwinkle or teal, for all I cared they could be black. Might as well be, this wedding is pretty much signing my death certificate. I was trapped with upper class snobs, who couldn't even name all of their maids and butlers if they tried. Not a day went by without Jack passing through my mind. I pictured him drawing the statue of liberty, and exploring all of the little nooks and crannies of New York, poor but free. The days passed by without anyone even noticing I was dying inside, nobody even looked up, nobody even cared. I ran heading straight to the statue of liberty; I got there and ran up the winding stairs to the top of the statue as fast as possible. I held up my dress and climbed onto the outside of the crown. Looking down I said a quick prayer, releasing my fingers one by one I was going to jump.

"Don't do it, don't let go!"

I glanced back and I saw his face, staring at me worried and concerned. It was Jack…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I felt his words melt my broken heart. I glanced over my shoulder and saw his eyes sparkling like the ocean while little tears trickled out of them. Was he crying because I came back or because I left in the first place?

"I'm sorry Jack, I was trying to protect you from Cal, he was going to have you arrested." I stumbled over those simple words.

He walked up to me and grabbed my hand gently grasping it in his palm as he spoke. "Rose it's not up to you to protect me, that's my job. I promised I wouldn't let him touch you and I let him. I'm sorry."

His voice started to fade as I saw more tears come streaming down his face. I felt bad he was blaming himself for something I did to myself. I looked up suddenly and saw him laughing. He grabbed me and helped me of the crown with a smile plastered on his face. I couldn't help but smile, seeing him like this brought me back to the times we had. Images of us spitting into the sea and dancing together as he pulled me closer flashed in my mind.

I finally asked, "Why are you laughing so hard?"

"I was just thinking. You must have a thing for threatening to jump of tall places." He cried out laughing.

I laughed; I mean I guess that is true! Suddenly his face turned cold, he made me promise to never run off again. The way he looked at me made me think he saw a ghost. I placed my hand on his shoulder telling him that everything would be okay, but how could I sound convincing if I couldn't convince myself that. I knew he was sleeping on the streets, and I could see by the dirt lightly dusting his face like a mask that he hadn't showered in days.

"Rose, I feel like it would have been better if I died in those cold waters. At least that way I wouldn't be sleeping on the streets, still worthless and hungry." He grew sadder and sadder.

It was my fault. He believed it, because I told him so. How could his once fiery spirit filled with joy, be turned into a cold-hearted depression? I couldn't express what I was feeling in words. So for the longest time I sat there, staring, not knowing what I was going to do next. Just staring. Just waiting. Just thinking. I decided one of us needed to say something, and I figured I got him into this mess so I should speak first.

"Jack," I spoke "If I cared about money and pride, do you think I would be running away from it trying to kill myself? No, I ran away from it because there is no point in me living if I'm not with you. Before I met you I was a face without eyes to see anything beyond riches and glory, but when I met you I was able to see the world through your eyes. And that is something I wouldn't trade anything for. Do you understand?"

He didn't reply, but it didn't matter I knew what his answer was when he hugged me and whispered into my ear softly, "I'll never let go, ever."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

I felt the warm rays of the early morning sun bounce off my skin as I awakened to the soft murmur of busy footsteps in New York City. I looked around at my surroundings to find that we were in front of an old dirty apartment building. Jack must have carried me here last night after our long talk. I looked down to find that he was still fast asleep on the cold hard cement. I ached to hear his soft voice melt away all of my worries. I saw him starting to rustle around a bit and soon after that he opened his eyes. They were hypnotizing….his eyes sent chills down my spine every time I looked into them.

"Rose…Rose what are you looking at?" Jack questioned as he waved his hand in front of my face trying to break my stare.

"Oh, sorry!" I replied zoning back into reality.

Jack told me his plans for the day. First he would take me down to a little shop on a corner to find a job for me. I was skeptical at first. _Work? I've never worked a day in my life!_ But I realized living this way wasn't going to be lavish and happy, it was going to be hard work but we would get through it. He said then he would be off to work at an art store as a stock boy. Wasn't anything special but it made money, and the owner gave him free pencils and paper to sketch after work. He said to meet him at the docks at five p.m.

We started walking down the street watching as busy business people were hustling before they would be late for work. Jack and I walked hand and hand as if it was my first day of finishing school. I chuckled as he hummed to the tune of the music coming from a saloon. Soon enough we arrived at a seamstress shop called wears and tears. I know the name is pretty cliché, but it was a quaint store. As we walked in an older lady glanced away from her fabric sorting and let out a squeal.

"Jack!' said the old women.

"Mrs. Tobbs this is Rose Dawson(I looked up at him as he said my name and he winked) she is a titanic survivor also and needs a job." He said in his most convincing tone he could think up.

"Of course she can have a job; any friend of Jack's is a friend of mine." She smiled as she pulled at my ragged clothing. "My oh my, we need to get you a new dress this one is much to tattered to be worn in my store."

Jack bade us goodbye and left for work. Right away Mrs. Tobbs sized me for a custom made dress. She asked about how I knew jack. As she started laying out the fabric for my dress I told her all about Cal, mother, and how jack saved me from the rich claws keeping me locked up. As I finished I saw tears in her eyes and she was in awe at both my strength and courage.

"Well I'm glad you are working here, but we mustn't doddle. You can start out simple by sorting the fabric by color and texture." she said as she pointed over to a large pile of fabric.

_Ahhh this is going to be a long day!_ I thought to myself. Throughout the day she gave me other tasks which included hemming dresses, sizing people for dresses, and manning the cash registers. The shop was decorated with flowers and lace curtains. It smelled like cinnamon and there was a fireplace gleaming in the corner of the store. I got off work at four thirty and my fingers and feet ached from sewing and standing all day. Mrs. Tobbs explained that I will receive a pay check at the end of every week. I have to work Monday through Saturday, but at least on Sunday Jack and I can spend the day together.

As I shut the door behind me I felt the brisk cool air flap against my pale skin. As I walked down the street the sound of my heels clicking echoed against the ground made me excited that I would soon be with jack. A large clock rang in my ears letting me know it was 4:45. I began to walk faster knowing I would be late at the rate I was going. As soon as I arrived at the docks I saw jack sketching one of the merchant ships. I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked at me, picked me up and spun me around until he was about to fall over.

"Miss Bukater I really hope that Mrs. Tobbs didn't work you too hard!" He said chuckling.

"Oh Mr. Dawson aren't you just full of it?" I replied sarcastically.

"Hey Rose I gotta show you something. Come with me." Jack said hurriedly.

The sun was starting to go down as jack pulled me along New York. When we finally got to the secret place jack pulled me up in front of him. As he removed his slender hands from my face he whispered, "Open your eyes."

It was breathtaking. Exasperating. Clearly Beautiful. It was the New York skyline. The sun was setting and the city lights were beginning to turn on and it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I felt that for once I was important, and not just an accessory to Cal's game. Suddenly Jack grabbed me by the hand, and pulled two train tickets to Santa Monica out of his pocket.

"Rose I know we don't have much, but its time you learned to ride like a man, chew tobacco like a man…" Jack said grinning.

"And spit like a man!" I replied finishing his sentence in the worst country accent possible.

He then grabbed me by the hand, pulling me into his cologne smothered body and hugged me so tightly and for that time everything was perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"I'm so cold Jack!" I said barely able to get the words out.

"Don't you do that, don't you go saying your goodbyes, not yet. You're gonna die an old lady, warm in her bed. Not here, not this night, not like this." His words comforted me and I felt a sense of warmth coming towards my body.

Minutes later I saw a flashlight glide across the frigid waters. As I turned towards the light I saw that it was a boat. Looking down at Jack I saw his lifeless body stiller than the clam sea underneath me.

"Jack. Jack, there's a boat Jack." I pleaded for him to open his ocean blue eyes.

I began to sob as I felt his soul leaving his body. I screamed as loud as I could not caring if people heard me.

"Rose, Rose everything is okay what's wrong?" Jack questioned worriedly.

As I looked around the simply decorated apartment that Mrs. Tobbs let us rent for a cheap cost, I felt better as I squeezed jack so tightly that he could hardly breathe.

"Another nightmare huh?" jack asked sympathetically.

"I guess so, this is the fifth one this month! When are they going to stop?" I pleaded.

We wouldn't be leaving for Santa Monica for another two weeks, so until then I had to focus on my job. I began to get the hang of hemming and sewing. Mrs. Tobbs and I chatted all day long about everything we possibly could. Jack even asked for her to give me the week off when we go to Santa Monica. Also Mrs. Tobbs finally finished my dress. It was gorgeous. As she laid it into my arms the cream silk fabric felt weightless. There were lace white sleeves and pearl detailing on the sweetheart neckline. I immediately changed into it. I felt free and beautiful as the silk flowed softly across my skin. I thanked Mrs. Tobbs and she gave me a quick hug, but we were quickly interrupted by a hard knock on the door. _Who was it?_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Mrs Tobbs peered through the peephole in the door and abruptly turned around.

"I believe it's Mr. Caledon Hockley!" Mrs. Tobbs stuttered out the words.

I didn't reply. Instead I ran to the back of the store and his behind the curtain of the creatively put together, improve of a dressing room. I sat quietly as I heard to door click open and the deep raspy voice of Cal mutter something to, I'm guessing, one of his personal butlers. Mrs. Tobbs welcomed him inside in her usual happy tone, as he stomped in and started yelling.

"Where is she? I know she is here, probably with that poor excuse of a man!" Cal exclaimed ferociously.

"I am sorry sir, I don't know what you are talking about. But I am sure I can help you with these poorly made clothes." Mrs. Tobbs said.

I snickered to myself. Why was it that in even in the most serious situations Mrs. Tobbs could easily crack a joke? I think Cal heard me. He's coming this way! I must stand up for myself, he doesn't own me. I found myself taking a deep breath and flattening out the skirt of my dress. I stood up and opened the curtain and there I faced the evil Caledon Hockley.

"What are you doing running off like that we have been looking for you for weeks. Never run away from me like that again! Do you understand?" Cal screamed as he grabbed my wrist, pulling it towards him.

"No!" I shouted "No! Let go of me."

The next thing I felt was the sting of Cal's hand rip across the soft flesh of my skin. It hurt so bad. I couldn't get words out. I couldn't do anything. I was frozen. Next thing I remembered was Jack busting the door open and running to me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He then told Mrs. Tobbs to take me away and go and get help. I was rushed out of the shop while jack was fighting off Cal and his butler. We were gone no more than ten minutes, and came back with police to the scene. As we opened the door the room was vacant, except for Jack's helpless body with a pool of blood spilling out of his abdomen. I ran to him, tears pouring out of my eyes, he was barely conscious. I saw a bullet lodged in his bloody abdomen and next to his body I found a note.

Even with the tears obstructing my view I could still make out the dark words etched in the paper. "_I always win Rose, one way or another!"_ There was no signature obviously so Cal couldn't be convicted of the crime. I threw the note on the floor and cried into Jack's chest." Jack you can't leave me! You jump I jump remember?"


	10. Chapter 10

Authors note: Hey everyone I am so sorry I have been bad at updating lately Just so you all know I had exams. But don't worry I am back Also thank you for all of the reviews you guys are all so supportive always remember never let go;)

Chapter 10:

Jack's P.O.V –

As the bullet was lodged into my abdomen my whole life flashed before my eyes. I fell to the ground and all I could think about was Rose. How I wished she was here right now. If I die how will she take care of herself? No jack, don't think those kind of thoughts; you're a survivor you will get through this. I can barely feel my body. No jack keep your eyes open. I can't do it….

Rose P.O.V-

"Jack please don't leave me. Stay put the doctor is on his way, oh please Jack." I said crying into his arm while putting pressure on the wound. He started slipping out of consciousness. My hand was getting soaked with blood, but if I let go he was sure to die of blood loss. How could Cal do this to me? I knew he is evil, but killing another person? Really!? Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mrs. Tobbs covering her face with her wrinkled hands. I don't blame her seeing blood made my stomach churn. Jack couldn't just be gone! If he survived the sinking of the _Titanic _he could survive this. Finally, after what seemed like eternity Doctor Jamison arrived.

"Doctor, I need your help right away!" I remarked.

"What seems to be the problem miss?" Doctor Jamison asked.

I didn't get a chance to explain the situation to him before I burst into tears. All I could do was point to Jack, which seemed to work because right away Dr. Jamison sat by Jack and started giving compressions to keep the blood flowing. After about an hour Jack's heart was stabilized, but since he was still unconscious he would be taken to the hospital to monitor his condition.

For a week I waited by his bedside just hoping his big blue eyes would open but they didn't. Each morning I would walk to the hospital, buy a newspaper, and sit by Jack until nightfall when I would walk back to my apartment. One morning while I was reading the paper I saw a picture of Cal in the obituary section. It is said he died of sudden illness, but that was just a cover up for suicide. He must have felt guilty for shooting Jack. After reading it a big smile plastered across my face, I know I shouldn't be happy he died but I felt he deserved it. As soon as I glanced at jack the smile washed away because even though Cal was gone Jack wasn't there with me.

A few more days passed and I simply gave up hope for jack to wake up. I realized that I wouldn't be going to Santa Monica. I started to weep silently. Suddenly I heard a masculine voice call out to me saying: "Did you think I would miss a trip to Santa Monica with you?"

When I looked up I saw the smiling blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy that an hour ago was laying lifeless in a hospital bed. I immediately fell into his arms smelling his delicious musky scent. I wanted to stay like that forever.


End file.
